Gotta Love the Blindside

You just can't beat the feeling of the blindside. You all know what I'm talking about, that feeling that borders on heart attack when a certain someone enters your presence. This isn't just any someone, it's THAT someone. You can't breathe, you can't think, all you can do is stare and grab onto the nearest availiable sturdy object to keep from passing out. And when that someone enters the room without warning, you have what I call a blindside. I have a someone like that in my life, whom I will refer to as Mr. Blindside because he has a knack for doing just exactly that. You can't live with them, you can't live without them. I see him maybe...once a month and every time I do he appears so suddenly. I remember being on a trip a few months ago, we had just arrived at our destination and were settling in. The back door opens and I hear a voice. He is there, pillow and suitcase in hand, come to stay with us. I nearly died of a heart attack. The problem is that I just can't seem to shake the feeling- Mr. Blindside has been knocking me senseless for nearly two years. And I can't let go. How do you let go of the one who makes your heart beat faster, the person you can't seem to live without? What if you have to let go? What if there is no other option? I try time and time again to redirect my focus, to concentrate on someone or something else. I cannot. When he is near, he consumes me. Then there are the times when I am literally living with him for days, even a week at a time- that's hard. When he is there 24/7- breakfast, lunch and dinner, night and day. This makes it difficult to breathe. They say that the things you want most are the things you can't have. They were right. You gotta love the blindside.