So apparently I'm British...

I absolutely love classes where I can sit at the computer and do... absolutely nothing. I can sit here in the SS IMC (social studies instructional media center for all the WaRu slang challenged) during my 5th hour, in plain view of teachers and staff (technically computers are for educational purposes around here) and do whatever I please! Now, unfortunately, "class" is almost over, and in a few minutes I will go and join the rest of my hardworking peers for the final two hours of the day, then spend a lovely forty minutes on the yellow piece of hell on wheels (yes, I am a junior and I ride the bus- saves the gas dollar every time- those who don't use the free public transportation availiable to us are complete idiots!) with a bunch of twelve year olds. Ah, the joys of the high school experience. More later... (and I will explain the seemingly random title of this particular entry). Peace.

Let the Thunder Roll...

I love storms. What could be more relaxing (and, need I say, fun to watch) than to sit inside on a black night staring out your window watching AMAZING forks of lightning light up all creation for an instant, and then it all fades just as quickly to pitch black. I love the sound of the thunder, as if something enormous is happening all around me (maybe the angels are bowling in heaven, as I once heard at age five). But what I really love is sleeping through storms. Naps are awesome, by the way. When I arrived at home today I was utterly exhausted: physically, mentally, you name it- I felt it. "Thank God It's Friday" is a phrase that fits today exceptionally well. A few people I've spoken with literally feel like they've been dragging their tired behinds through the halls of our high school for a month. I didn't even bother to go downstairs, flip on the t.v., check my e-mail, or do anything that one normally does on a free Friday afternoon. I slept. For three hours. No one bothered to come in and wake me up, tell me there were things to be done, no one called- my wonderful family and friends let me take a rest. I have always been a naysayer when it comes to napping- unless you're ill, there simply aren't enough hours in the day already, and who has time to waste on more than 3 to 6 hours of unconsciousness each night? However, the older I get (the ripe old age of sixteen) the more I appreciate the restorative power of a short snooze. But three hours was still two and a half too many. The afternoon evaporated, and when I woke up, it was dinner time. Perhaps this is my cue to slow down a bit. I am truly going to be a busy woman. I won't even bother to list my activities list (it's LONG), plus the expectations that others have placed upon me (which are many), and, oh yeah, the course load. The AP kids are dropping like flies: can't handle the pressure and the workload, which is perfectly understandable- but I am one of the few stubborn mules that refuse to even think of quitting- I can do this, right? For the first time in my life, I am wondering how I can juggle it all. There lies yet another lesson that God taught me this summer-I am a mere mortal, I am NOT Superwoman, and I CANNOT do it all alone. I am learning to rely on Him for strength, no matter the circumstance. I have been raised to be strong, I have been forced into this mentality since I was seven years old- my life circumstances demanded it. I have become an absolute expert at putting on my mask, and telling the world that I have it all together. I have close friends that have told me that their first impression of me was "Her life is perfect. She's got it all together." What a lie I portrayed. How many times does He have to teach me the same thing? HOW stupid am I? Will never be able to understand how God deals with the extreme stupidity of his creatures. Take a look at our world if you wonder what I'm talking about. One thing is certain: in the past four months of my life I have been broken and humbled on a daily basis. But whoever perpetuated the falsity that our lives are supposed to be easy should be shot. Know this: we are owed nothing. Yes, that did take a really heavy turn. And I'm okay with that. To all of you out there who don't know the strength of the One who makes you strong- get a clue. I would not be alive this very day if it were not for His grace. Don't mean to be creepy or morbid;I am certain of that fact. I'm feeling a little underqualified right now. Here I am, expecting to start a Bible study for my younger peers, but by no means do I have it all together. Then again, I am never expected to. Thank goodness for that. I'll never forget, as long as I live, what I learned at midnight (or 2, 3 a.m.) on the rooftop. If you have never slept on a rough, cement rooftop with nothing but the gorgeous night sky as your ceiling, try it. If you can't get to a foreign country, say Mexico, try it in your backyard. You'd be surprised what you find- more than just shooting stars and the breeze. I would especially suggest this experience with 40-50 of your peers, who feel more like family after you live, work, shower and sleep together for a week and a half. Amazingly, it is possible to fall asleep to loud music from a nearby Mexican bar, people screaming and talking loudly, dogs barking in the streets, and (my personal favorite) a twelve part dissonant harmony of every Broadway showtune or retarded country song you can imagine (thanks for that, boys- we were cracking up about twenty feet away). This is how I fell asleep at night. There is something to be said, as well for late night pep talks (thank you Jana, Bek, Nae- I love you) and musings about life in general. So many stories...so many memories- I think I left my heart in Mexico. Let the storm winds blow.... ~Jade Quote of the day: "History is full of lies...more lies... and statistics... beware the statistics." -Gifford

When In Rome...

(I apologize folks, this is my first post on my ORIGINAL blog that I began yesterday and now cannot get into to update or make changes- i love computers. So here will be the REAL deal!) Friends...Topekans... Lend me your ears... Okay that was bad. Really bad. No more Caesar or other Shakespeare puns... ever... at least for today. A month from now, I can't promise I'll remember that vow. I know- I am a dork (and to quote doug, "I'm okay with that"). So here it is ladies and gentlemen: my blog. Yes, I have joined your insane journaling cult; I have joined the revolution. As a writer, I was, at first glance, dead against this "web logging" thing. There is nothing, in my mind, that can ever take the place of a good old fashioned journal and pencil. However... after pondering my view on this subject, I have decided that just because one joins the electronic world of journaling, doesn't mean that they must immediately, with reckless abandon, drop all integrity that they possess as a writer. Yes, I confess, I am a traditionalist. There are very few opinions I possess that I will back down on- I'm opinionated, and no one convinces me otherwise. But maybe, being able to type 60 words a minute on my computer (thank you keyboarding and comp. tech!) will allow this to be something more than my average journal entries.. which tend to become lazy as my tired hand begins to cramp. So here I sit, with about 25 other tasks I should be completing, procrastinating at my computer. My hands are ready. Sorry about all that- I just had to have a sort of melodramatic beginning (if you could call it that). Believe it or not, I am, on occaision, a drama queen. And not in the high maintenance complaining little sissy way either. I detest watching people act like that- try attending my high school if you need an example or fifty. What a weird world we live in. I thank God that it is only temporary. Some days I wonder if I can truly handle one more thing before I break, shattering into millions of tiny pieces. I have a lot on my plate in life, and is by His grace alone that I have survived. Pray for me, if you would please. Pray that my family survives this storm. Don't misunderstand me: I am, for the most part, a contented and generally happy person. I love a lot of things about my world; mainly the people I have the privelege of spending my days with- friends, brothers, sisters, acquaintances- all the people that make this earth a better place. I love to be involved- things just don't feel right if I'm not putting 100 percent into the busiest schedule possible. It's not superficial, it's what fulfills me. I'm sure I tend to come on a little strong to many folks, but over the years I quit caring so much about what people think- although I still get attacked with that issue on a weekly, if not daily basis. I refuse to be anyone but me. You don't like it- deal with it. It's only the Lord's opinion that matters after all. We are a moment, as the song says. This summer was (I regretfully use the past tense, because in every way but season, it has finally ended) the most AMAZING three months that I have ever spent in my entire life. I do not use that word lightly. I never knew, looking back at May, that I could cram so much into such a short time. I have learned a thing or two, believe it or not- I feel like I could write a book, or some sort of saga. But there are very few others, besides my brothers and sisters that I lived with most of the summer, that would EVER comprehend what we have been through. Everything began ordinarily enough: my plans were set- hanging out with the girls, Summer Sizzle, Blast, Mexico (mission trip, not vacation), maybe a part time job, bible study, and maybe getting to know the kids at youth group a little better. Little did I realize what God had in store for me. Maybe everyone that experienced these events with me does not feel the same way- but I know that there is more than one who do feel passionately about all that we did, as a youth group, as friends, as a team, and as a family. Shattered Expectation #1: I'll probably get bored a lot Who has the time to be bored when, not even five days into break, I recieve several calls that land me with, count 'em, THREE part time jobs. A word to the wise: do not do this if you want to sleep in relax and chill all summer. That is an obvious statement! These pieces of the insanity were NOT opportunities that I sought out.In a nutshell, a volunteer job and two child care jobs fell into my lap. All it takes is three phone calls from three desperate women. Thankfully, these wonderful ladies were all willing to work with my schedule, and I was allowed to take most of the month of July, along with several other days off, so that I could still maintain the rest of my insane activities schedule. (Since when did summer have a SCHEDULE??!) Unfortunately for me and my many riveted readers (ha!), the civilized world, and inevitable duty call. I have decided that I want more than three hours of sleep tonight. Much love ~Jade