Let the Thunder Roll...

I love storms. What could be more relaxing (and, need I say, fun to watch) than to sit inside on a black night staring out your window watching AMAZING forks of lightning light up all creation for an instant, and then it all fades just as quickly to pitch black. I love the sound of the thunder, as if something enormous is happening all around me (maybe the angels are bowling in heaven, as I once heard at age five). But what I really love is sleeping through storms. Naps are awesome, by the way. When I arrived at home today I was utterly exhausted: physically, mentally, you name it- I felt it. "Thank God It's Friday" is a phrase that fits today exceptionally well. A few people I've spoken with literally feel like they've been dragging their tired behinds through the halls of our high school for a month. I didn't even bother to go downstairs, flip on the t.v., check my e-mail, or do anything that one normally does on a free Friday afternoon. I slept. For three hours. No one bothered to come in and wake me up, tell me there were things to be done, no one called- my wonderful family and friends let me take a rest. I have always been a naysayer when it comes to napping- unless you're ill, there simply aren't enough hours in the day already, and who has time to waste on more than 3 to 6 hours of unconsciousness each night? However, the older I get (the ripe old age of sixteen) the more I appreciate the restorative power of a short snooze. But three hours was still two and a half too many. The afternoon evaporated, and when I woke up, it was dinner time. Perhaps this is my cue to slow down a bit. I am truly going to be a busy woman. I won't even bother to list my activities list (it's LONG), plus the expectations that others have placed upon me (which are many), and, oh yeah, the course load. The AP kids are dropping like flies: can't handle the pressure and the workload, which is perfectly understandable- but I am one of the few stubborn mules that refuse to even think of quitting- I can do this, right? For the first time in my life, I am wondering how I can juggle it all. There lies yet another lesson that God taught me this summer-I am a mere mortal, I am NOT Superwoman, and I CANNOT do it all alone. I am learning to rely on Him for strength, no matter the circumstance. I have been raised to be strong, I have been forced into this mentality since I was seven years old- my life circumstances demanded it. I have become an absolute expert at putting on my mask, and telling the world that I have it all together. I have close friends that have told me that their first impression of me was "Her life is perfect. She's got it all together." What a lie I portrayed. How many times does He have to teach me the same thing? HOW stupid am I? Will never be able to understand how God deals with the extreme stupidity of his creatures. Take a look at our world if you wonder what I'm talking about. One thing is certain: in the past four months of my life I have been broken and humbled on a daily basis. But whoever perpetuated the falsity that our lives are supposed to be easy should be shot. Know this: we are owed nothing. Yes, that did take a really heavy turn. And I'm okay with that. To all of you out there who don't know the strength of the One who makes you strong- get a clue. I would not be alive this very day if it were not for His grace. Don't mean to be creepy or morbid;I am certain of that fact. I'm feeling a little underqualified right now. Here I am, expecting to start a Bible study for my younger peers, but by no means do I have it all together. Then again, I am never expected to. Thank goodness for that. I'll never forget, as long as I live, what I learned at midnight (or 2, 3 a.m.) on the rooftop. If you have never slept on a rough, cement rooftop with nothing but the gorgeous night sky as your ceiling, try it. If you can't get to a foreign country, say Mexico, try it in your backyard. You'd be surprised what you find- more than just shooting stars and the breeze. I would especially suggest this experience with 40-50 of your peers, who feel more like family after you live, work, shower and sleep together for a week and a half. Amazingly, it is possible to fall asleep to loud music from a nearby Mexican bar, people screaming and talking loudly, dogs barking in the streets, and (my personal favorite) a twelve part dissonant harmony of every Broadway showtune or retarded country song you can imagine (thanks for that, boys- we were cracking up about twenty feet away). This is how I fell asleep at night. There is something to be said, as well for late night pep talks (thank you Jana, Bek, Nae- I love you) and musings about life in general. So many stories...so many memories- I think I left my heart in Mexico. Let the storm winds blow.... ~Jade Quote of the day: "History is full of lies...more lies... and statistics... beware the statistics." -Gifford